* Friday, March 21, 2003*

dunno why i feel kinda horrid...
not bcuz of anytink...
not the celebrations...
nor the birthday bashes goin on n on..
neither issit the outings, parties or juz staying home...
i juz feel tht sumwat sumone sumwhere out dere doesnt feel rite...
its me.


i dunno why...
i juz dun understd myself sumtimes...
im totally so unpredictable...
my erratic...volatile... n irrational behavior n mannerism certainly puts people off...
its revolting how i can sumtimes pretend so innocently at tinks i dunt like..
such a hypocrite!!
yet its so amazing why i dunt juz strangle myself instead of allowing myself to stay n get kicked in e butt...

i tink im so mad..
all tis appalling nonsense tht i write...
i reali got no idea why the **** i write all tis...
im absurd i tink...
all the frenzy tinks goin on tis pass week apparrently got the better of me..
sorta like turned my life inside out n im all torn apart...

actualli its got nth to do wif anyone..
evryone has been so sweetish to me n all...
evryone has been such wonderful buddies to me...
especially my dear klassmates n close frenz...
ur all brillant!

i juz haf tis internal turmoil goin on in me...
fighting hard to kip tht struggle goin...
wrestling so hard tht made me so outta sorts...
if i eva dampen ur mood cuz of my wliful wayz these dayz..
i'd juz like to apologise now...
im so so so sori...
im regretful if i brought the exultant spirit down...
~tas
Tas_anne @ Friday, March 21, 2003